By Megan Jean Wilczek

My car hit the shoulder of the road. My heart raced as I turned the steering wheel back to the left and got centered in my lane. My breathing was quick and shallow. My mind was swirling with panicky thoughts. I took a few intentional deep breaths to calm myself.

See, when I was 16 and a brand-new driver, my car hit the shoulder on a dirt road, sending my car rolling into the ditch. I landed upside down, hanging by my seatbelt. The front windshield was smashed into the ditch, so there was no way out there. I tried to kick out the back window but wasn’t strong enough. Eventually, I could squeeze out one of the side windows that was only partially blocked. Thankfully, I was okay, but my car wasn’t.

When my car hit the shoulder of the road in the present day, my brain was immediately transported back to that moment over 20 years ago.

Anxiety is meant to protect us. Anxiety deters me from getting too close to the shoulder of the road. I remember what happened last time and don’t want to repeat that. If I didn’t have anxiety sending me warning signals, I would be more likely to put myself in danger by doing reckless things. We should have anxiety. God put it there for a reason. It’s a sign that our brains are doing what they are supposed to do.

However, anxiety can become a problem when our brains are hypervigilant. Sometimes they paralyze us into being unable to participate in daily life, or we can participate in things while feeling miserable the whole time. Sometimes they warn us about things that are not actually dangerous. So, how can we tell when our anxiety has become a problem?

If, after that accident at age 16, I was too terrified to ever drive again, that might be a problem depending on the lifestyle I planned to live. It could prevent me from getting jobs that I wanted, driving my children around, or traveling for vacation. If I drove but was constantly terrified of an accident happening again, traveling would be miserable for me. Also, if your anxiety is flaring up because you have to make a phone call this afternoon, that’s not helpful. Phone calls usually aren’t dangerous, but trust me; I get it. Talking on the phone is miserable for some of us.

Okay, you’ve identified that your anxiety is a tad out of hand; now what?

There are many approaches to take with this depending on your level of anxiety and what works best for you. You may have to try more than one thing before you find what works, and it might be a combination of things you need to do. If your anxiety isn’t debilitating, start small and work your way up.

The simplest thing that everyone can try is deep breathing. The key to deep breathing is that you can’t just do it when you’re feeling anxious. It is more impactful if you make it a habit that you incorporate into your everyday life. Find set times that you can remember to sit in silence and take a few slow, deep breaths. I started out doing it when I first wake up, once in the middle of the day, and again before bed. If you need to, you can set an alarm to remind yourself at first. Once you have the hang of that, you can build on it. This will help prevent you from getting overly anxious while also getting you in the habit of breathing, making it more likely that you will remember to breathe in those panicky moments.

Journaling or talking to a trusted friend can also help. It’s a way to get those spinning thoughts out of your head, demobilizing them. Another step would be to talk to medical professionals. Find a counselor who meets your needs and is qualified to handle your unique situation. Another option to get help would be to talk to your doctor about medications. Many people don’t like the idea of going on medications. However, it’s not always permanent. Some people just need to be on it for a season to regulate enough that they can work on their coping skills. Then, they can work with their doctor to wean off.

Finally, if you believe in God, talk to Him. Read your Bible. Memorize or write down and carry special scriptures that help you. You can even combine prayer with your breathing exercises. These are called breath prayers. As you breathe, imagine breathing in God’s grace and breathing out all your worries for Him to grab onto. You can pray that or another short prayer in your head as you slowly breathe in and out. God knows we have anxieties and fears. It’s nothing to be ashamed of. He desires to help us with this by taking it all on so we don’t have to.

Meet the Author