“He walked away, about a stone’s throw, and knelt down and prayed, “Father, if you are willing, please take this cup of suffering away from me. Yet I want your will to be done, not mine.” Then an angel from heaven appeared and strengthened him. He prayed more fervently, and he was in such agony of spirit that his sweat fell to the ground like great drops of blood. At last he stood up again and returned to the disciples, only to find them asleep, exhausted from grief. “Why are you sleeping?” he asked them. “Get up and pray, so that you will not give in to temptation.”

‭‭Luke‬ ‭22‬:‭41‬-‭46‬

Jesus asked for the cup to be removed from Him, but He ultimately abided by surrendering to God’s will. Even after being strengthened by an angel, He was in agony.

Sometimes even when we’re abiding it’s a struggle. Pain and joy can be held in tension without having to choose one or the other. We can grieve our circumstances while also having joy in knowing that Jesus is in control of our mess. Sometimes He gives us His supernatural peace about a situation pretty quickly, and sometimes we struggle with it for a time before reaching a place of peace and acceptance.

Abiding does not automatically mean that we will feel happy.

Part of the church being a safe place for the suffering is allowing grief to be expressed without shame…shame for having strong negative feelings, shame for responding to their situation or feelings the way they did, shame for not handling their grief the way you think they should have. The first place people should know they can turn to when they are struggling is the people of the church.

Let’s not be a stumbling block for others expressing authentic suffering and doing painful healing within the Christian community by interpreting their pain as sign that they aren’t abiding. Rather, let’s meet people where they are at and allow them to lament.

Meet the Author