Don’t Believe Everything You Think
By Nichole Suvar
This is an excerpt from Nichole’s latest devotional: Numbering Our Days: Combating Anxiety in the Power of Small Intentional Moments – 49 devotions to help you pinpoint the areas of your life that cause you anxiety and give you practical steps to overcome with small intentional practices – one moment at a time.
Just like the heart can sway and dictate our feelings, our thoughts can direct our actions. The words we speak, the people we avoid, and even the psychosomatic reactions of our own bodies. A few years ago, I hung a phrase up in a prominent spot in our home so that the whole family could be reminded regularly: “Don’t believe everything you think.”
Think back on a time in your life when you made yourself anxious over something because of what you thought, not necessarily because of what was actually true. You assumed something about a person, an event, or even yourself, and soon you started treating that assumption as truth. This holds true in so many aspects of life: at work, in our personal lives, and even in relationships with those not so close. We can build up many scenarios in our minds.
What thoughts are you holding on to that you are believing simply because you are thinking them?
If they are thoughts that routinely make you feel anxious, restless, and uneasy, then there is a root thought that needs to be dug up and brought to the light.
We don’t have to let these thoughts keep us captive. We can be intentional to dig into these thoughts we take as truth and find out the validity, or lack thereof.
When we allow our anxiety to take hold, our thinking spirals out of control. Thoughts begin to ruminate. And if you think about something long enough, even if it is far from the truth, you begin to believe it as legitimate. Things like …
I’m a failure.
No one needs me.
Everyone has it figured out but me.
That’s just the shortlist. When I was at my lowest point with depression, these thoughts were constant. I really couldn’t escape them. Some people have this inner critic that is constantly telling them what they should be doing better. I have that. If you have it too, you can attest to the hold it can have over you if you don’t overcome it with something that is true. It feels like in every circumstance, event, and situation, there is this internal judge pointing out how you can be doing it better. If you struggle with this voice, you can attest to the truth that this can be exhausting and defeating.
The inner critic continues to bring up the things that we could be doing better, that we have failed at. It seems to follow us around relentlessly. If you don’t have that inner critic berating you on a daily basis, you most likely have a close friend or family member who has one. It seems to be louder in some types of personalities than others.
So what do we do? And if we don’t struggle with this, how can we help those who do?
Fight it with the truth. This verse combats that critic who only wants to point out the errors and the thoughts that try to overwhelm:
“Finally, brothers, whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things” (Philippians 4:8).
In the Christian Standard Bible (CSB) version, it uses the word dwell: “If there is any moral excellence and if there is anything praiseworthy—dwell on these things.” According to Webster’s Dictionary, a synonym for dwell is exist. It’s not about visiting these types of thoughts that are honorable, right, pure—and then leaving them for less desirable thoughts. But instead, we are called to exist, to dwell on these things. Dwelling means putting down roots, establishing ourselves, settling in and resting.
These honorable and lovely thoughts are meant to be permanent, not rest stops along the way.
This state of dwelling takes intention. Our minds gravitate toward self-focus instead of upward focus. When we continue to be wrapped up in our own thoughts and don’t establish ourselves in truth, we will only spiral downward from there. We need to be intentional with lifting our gaze to Christ, the one who is Himself right, pure, and lovely.
But dwelling on thoughts that are true, honorable, and right is easier said than done. Thought patterns that have been there for years are like deep furrows, and they can be tough to get out of. I have found three actions that have helped turn my thought patterns around.
Seek gratitude. Research has found that we can retrain our brains when we focus on things we are thankful for. Take five minutes every morning to name three things you are thankful for. Then thank God for these gifts.
Write it down. If there are negative thoughts that you can’t let go of, write them down. When we see the lies on paper, in black and white, they take on a different look. Then write the opposite, or the truth, right beside it. Add relevant scripture as well. Hang it in a spot where you can remind yourself of the truth.
Turn off the news. When we put negative in, then negative will come out. Maybe it’s not the news; maybe it’s social media or a certain Netflix show. If we are consuming things that discourage us, then we are bound to feel discouraged. Limit the negative influences and replace that time with scripture and God’s truth.
What thoughts are you believing simply because you are thinking them?
If they are routinely making you anxious, restless, and uneasy, the thoughts need to be rooted out and brought to light. We need to fix our eyes on the Creator of all beauty, honor, purity, and goodness and take the steps to intentionally dwell in such thoughts.
Nichole Suvar is a writer, speaker and intentional moment seeker. She has found relief from perfectionism and anxiety in the power of small, intentional moments. Nichole is passionate about sharing these moments of everyday life and helping others see how we can use them to glorify God and point others to Him. She desires for women to know that they are created for a purpose and that even the struggle of anxiety can be a tool to help point us to our Savior. Nichole is a contributing writer to Her View from Home, Living By Design Ministries, the 365 Self Care Guide app, as well as a monthly writer for Kingdom Edge magazine. She is the author of Numbering Our Days: Combating Anxiety in the Power of Small Intentional Moments, as well as a contributing author to Proverbs 31 Ministries and several devotional anthologies and blogs. When she’s not writing she enjoys hikes with her husband, connecting moments with her kids, or curling up with an intriguing mystery novel. You can connect with her, and sign up for free resources for combating anxiety and living a life of purpose, at her website livewithintent.org.