4 Easy Steps to Lament
I recently read the book Dark Clouds Deep Mercy by Mark Vroegop. In this book, he goes deep about the importance of lament in our relationship with God. Lament is a way of dealing with our grief and difficult emotions that honors God. Mark provides a framework for lament that you can find demonstrated in the Psalms, Job, and Lamentations. Lament involves turning to God, complaining, asking, and trusting. Let’s look at how this is demonstrated by David in Psalm 13:
O LORD, how long will you forget me?
Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in
my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the
upper hand?
Turn and answer me, O LORD my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or
I will die.
Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying,
“We have defeated him!”
Don’t let them rejoice at my downfall.
But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have
rescued me.
I will sing to the LORD
because he is good to me.
We can see immediately that David has turned to God by starting out the Psalm with
“O LORD.”
What follows is David complaining to God:
“how long will you forget me?
Forever?
How long will you look the other way?
How long must I struggle with anguish in
my soul,
with sorrow in my heart every day?
How long will my enemy have the
upper hand?”
Next, we see David asking for something from God:
“Turn and answer me, O LORD my God!
Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or
I will die.
Don’t let my enemies gloat, saying,
‘We have defeated him!’
Don’t let them rejoice any my downfall.”
Finally, David redirects his emotions and puts his trust in God:
“But I trust in your unfailing love.
I will rejoice because you have
Rescued me.
I will sing to the LORD
Because he is good to me.”
Notice how David over-exaggerates in his desperate emotional state:
“Restore the sparkle to my eyes, or
I will die.”
Where else do you see over-exaggeration in Psalms?
Can you think of a time when you’ve done the same?
Some people think that lament should be reserved for horrible tragedies and life-changing grief. But what if we practiced lament with our every-day disappointments? Would we then be more prepared to turn to God and use the same framework when a big tragedy hit? Would our relationship with God be deeper and more honest?
I think when we hold back these parts of our lives, we slowly build a barrier between ourselves and God. Don’t misunderstand, this barrier is not built by God. It is built by us when we wrongly assume that God does not want to hear about the small things in our lives as much as the big things. Have you ever heard the parenting strategy to listen to your kids about the small things so that they will come to you with the big things? Isn’t it the same with us and God? If we don’t feel comfortable going to God with the small things, will He be the first one we run to with the big things?
Remember, Jesus walked this earth too. He knows what it’s like to suffer through the whole range of human difficulties from big to small. He knows what it’s like to struggle with friendships. He knows what it’s like to be tempted by Satan. He’s been hungry, sick, and hurt. He’s dealt with difficult people. He’s had people who disliked Him even though He was literally perfect. Jesus is big enough to handle all our laments big or small.
Do you already practice lament?
How can you deepen your relationship with God in this area?
Click here for a FREE printable download about how to lament.
Meet the Author
Megan grew up in rural Wisconsin, where she was always known as the quiet girl with a book in her hands. Now Megan is working on her lifelong dream of becoming the author of her very own book. Out of her own struggle with trauma and mental health, she created the Jordan Crossings Blog to empower those who are healing from trauma and educate Christians on how to minister to those who are hurting.
