How to Change Your Unhealthy Thoughts
I sat in my car sobbing ugly tears. The angry thought running through my head repeatedly was, “Why do I ALWAYS mess EVERYTHING up?”
“I’m a failure.”
“I suck.”
“I just can’t do anything right.”
I was feeling defeated. I was ready to give up. I was stuck in an unhealthy thought pattern.
“Be careful what you think because your thoughts run your life.”
Every action starts with a thought, which leads to an emotion. Our unhealthy thoughts lead to emotional pain, which leads to a way of behaving which can lead to sin and relationship struggles. Our thoughts reflect deep meaning that we may not be consciously aware of. With my example above, my feeling of worth was tied up with my accomplishments.
In 2 Corinthians 10:5, Paul tells us to take every thought captive. For a long time, I didn’t know what exactly this meant or how to do it. Over time, I’ve learned to compare my thoughts to what is true and good.
Was what I was thinking about myself really the truth? Were they good things to be thinking?
No to both. The truth is that I’ve been successful with many things. I'm definitely not perfect, but I could list some things that prove I’m a well-functioning member of society. The only result of my thoughts was shame, crying, isolation, and giving up. This was not the way to convince myself to get back up and keep trying.
Pulling yourself out of a negative thought pattern like this is easier said than done. However, the earlier you catch the maladaptive thought, the easier it is.
Once you’ve allowed yourself to go down that rabbit trail stirring up all those negative emotions, it gets significantly harder. Once you reach that point, it’s best if you can enlist the help of a trusted friend, someone who is emotionally intelligent and will truly help you rather than cause you to feel worse. Talking to your therapist may be another option. In fact, if you have difficult things in your past, your negative thinking patterns are likely rooted in those things, and involving a therapist may be a necessity.
Choose someone who can empathize while lovingly helping you evaluate the truth and then redirect you. In my example, this meltdown was perfectly timed about an hour before I had a previously scheduled counseling appointment.
The skill of taking your thoughts captive takes practice, so don’t beat yourself up if you don’t do it perfectly right away.
When this happened to me, I recognized exactly what was happening as I was doing it, but I wasn’t able to stop it. I didn’t quite have all the tools yet. I still needed professional support and guidance. It also takes a while for your brain to retrain your neurons to adjust your thinking patterns. Even now that I’m pretty good at taking my thoughts captive, I have moments. Things catch me off-guard on a rough day. It happens to all of us sometimes. So here’s your action plan:
1. Identify your unhealthy thoughts and thinking patterns.
2. Find a support person to help you change your thinking.
3. Compare each of your thoughts to the truth and to what God says is good.
4. Intentionally direct your thoughts to what is true and good.
“And now, dear brothers and sisters, one final thing. Fix your thoughts on what is true, and honorable, and right, and pure, and lovely, and admirable. Think about things that are excellent and worthy of praise.”
Meet the Author
Megan grew up in rural Wisconsin, where she was always known as the quiet girl with a book in her hands. Now, Megan is working on her lifelong dream of becoming the author of her very own book. Out of her own struggle with trauma, addiction, and mental health, she created the Jordan Crossings Blog to empower those who are healing from trauma and educate Christians on how to minister to those who are hurting. Megan is a chosen child of God, writer, speaker, trauma survivor, mental health advocate, foster mom, and fire wife.
