Restore Your Joyful Heart-A Reflection for Women of Faith
By Brittany Kelly
I sat across the table, not knowing what to expect, eagerly awaiting the results. The doctor pulled up my test results and asked, “Brittany, have you ever been to therapy?”
A staggered response, “Yeah, it wasn’t really my thing…"
What a weird way to start a doctor's consult.
She continued, “Tell me what you do for you.”
Silence.
“Brittany, you have to make some changes. And if you don’t make them quickly, you will literally have a stroke.”
Trigger word.
Stroke.
Possibly death, possibly permanent disability, if I continued to ignore my need for peace.
The memory of my mother flashed in my head. I looked over at my one-year-old daughter and began crying. You see, my mother had two strokes in her sleep when I was nine years old. I remember trying to wake her up. I remember her being in the ICU and being a mess of wires and tubes. I remember her having to learn how to walk and talk. She was in ICU for 54 days and had practically withered into a skeleton because she had been on a feeding tube for so long. I didn’t want my family to have to go through that.
I began counseling again a few weeks ago and was quickly diagnosed with PTSD due to my mother’s sudden death from COVID last year. It is not easy by any means, but even after three sessions, I am already learning ways to regulate my emotions and work through pain in a healthy way.
We live in a society that praises long work hours, material possessions, and a jam-packed schedule. We celebrate the superhero - the mom taking care of her children, juggling ten errands in the two-hour window while her kids are in preschool, scheduling all of the appointments, and still putting lunch and dinner on the table for her family. We commend the mother who cannot answer the simple question, “What do you do for YOU?”
As Christian women, I think we sometimes get caught up in the idea that having anxiety, depression, PTSD, or any other type of mental illness is a reflection of your relationship with God.
I have struggled with anxiety and depression for several years, and God doesn’t love me any less because of it. In fact, my circumstances have actually made me grow in my faith.
I’m sure everyone has their own views on this, but let’s put it this way: when you see a doctor, do you tell yourself that you are receiving medical treatment because you don’t have faith that God will heal you on His own? Seems absurd. If we want to get better, we have to first admit there is a problem, right? We need to stop stigmatizing getting help for mental illness and uplift those who have the courage to seek help - to seek peace.
As someone with childhood trauma, my parents started taking me to therapy at an early age. In a way, it has been taught to me that seeking help is normal. As such, my husband and I have been in marriage counseling, and now I am currently in grief counseling. I do have to stress you need to find the right counselor for your needs: someone you are comfortable with, someone you grow to trust, and someone who can respect your beliefs. It is also equally beneficial to ensure the counselor specializes in the area you need help with.
Having a counselor who isn't the right fit for you is like trying to put a band-aid on a broken limb - it just doesn't work.
If we are brave enough, we can utilize tools, such as EMDR therapy, coping skills, and our faith to help better ourselves. We see the cries for help over and over in the Bible, but we also see story after story about God’s glory. His compassion. His love. Peace. In our weakness, His strength is glorified.
“A joyful heart is good medicine, but a crushed spirit dries up the bones.”
If you have been in a season of dry bones, let’s get back to our joyful hearts. My plate is clearly very full, hence the maxed-out stress levels, but I see His abundant blessings throughout it all. Why, then, do I struggle to find peace? The absence of peace does not mean I am ungrateful; it just means that, like my washing machine, I am at my max capacity.
With so much going on in our lives, how do we stop and take time for ourselves?
As with anything, change is more likely to become a habit if you incorporate it in small, manageable ways. I put myself on a balanced meal plan, cutting out processed foods and making sure I was having wholesome meals rather than ordering out. Since the kids would start to get restless after lunch, I’ve started taking them on walks around the neighborhood (This has been a great family activity where we just focus on being together). Little adjustments in your life can have a big impact. Find time to do the things you love, the things that make you feel restored. Go on a hike and look at all of God’s beautiful creations.
Slow down. Your body and mind will thank you for it.
Meet the Author
As a wife, mother of two, and a caregiver to her father, Brittany is learning the art of finding balance in everyday life. She finds joy in encouraging and empowering others to be their best self. In November of 2022, Brittany began SavedOne Outreach, aiming to uplift others and help those struggling due to a variety of circumstances. Her blog features testimonies of salvation, poetry, and uplifting affirmations.
Brittany Kelly was raised in Wilmington NC and attended The University of North Carolina Wilmington, where she earned a Bachelors in Communication Studies and a Master’s Degree in Conflict Management. She currently serves as the Vice Chair on the Advisory Board for The Rose House in Brunswick County, NC.
Follow her on Instagram and Facebook, and subscribe to her website at www.savedoneoutreach.com.
