What Are Boundaries?
Boundaries help to draw the line where one person ends and another begins.
Boundaries can look like:
· being clear about what you can and cannot do to help
· deciding what you are and are not willing to discuss
· vocalizing how often you are willing to meet with someone
· sharing when you are and are not available by phone
These examples are just the beginning. Boundaries permeate every aspect of our lives and relationships with others. There is a balance to helping others without enabling them to continue in dysfunction.
“Carry each other’s burdens, and in this way you will fulfill the law of Christ. If anyone thinks they are something when they are not, they deceive themselves. Each one should test their own actions. Then they can take pride in themselves alone, without comparing themselves to someone else, for each one should carry their own load.” -Galatians 6:2-5
In Greek, the words “burdens” and “load” have different meanings. “Burdens” refer to weaknesses and large responsibilities that are too much for one person to bear. “Load” refers to each person needing to carry their fair share of the burdens.
We should all help each other out and carry each other’s burdens, but nobody should give all their burdens to someone else to carry while doing none of the work for themselves. Remember, you should never work harder at helping someone than they are willing to work to help themselves. You do not have the ability to “fix” anyone. Only God can do that. People don’t like to feel like they are your project to be fixed anyway. People just want friends who love them.
We all should participate in helping carry the burden for others. There may be times when you have to step back from helping for a season because you are the one who needs the help. However, there will come a time when you are back on your feet and capable of helping carry the burdens of others again. The Christian life should be a life filled with constant give and take within the community, with nobody keeping score.
There will be times when each of us need to rest and get our cup filled, so we will have to put up boundaries to decrease the amount we are pouring out. Once our cups are filled, we will be able to loosen those boundaries again, for a time, to give more of ourselves.
This cycle of giving and taking is part of what it takes to love each other as Jesus commands.
Do you have a healthy balance of give and take in your life?
Is there someone in your life that you are enabling by allowing them to take too much from you?
What is a small boundary you can set today to improve your relationships?
To learn more about boundaries in friendship read my blog What is the Foundation of Your Friendship?
Meet the Author
Megan grew up in rural Wisconsin, where she was always known as the quiet girl with a book in her hands. Now Megan is working on her lifelong dream of becoming the author of her very own book. Out of her own struggle with trauma and mental health, she created the Jordan Crossings Blog to empower those who are healing from trauma and educate Christians on how to minister to those who are hurting.
